Scam!

Hey you

All along I've think that my life has been a quiet, unassuming one with barely a ripple. Of course that's the family history is another long grueling chapter of its own that I've decided to gloss over for the time being.

Until this morning, I thought my life got some unnecessary colour.

As I was out tennis-ing with TK, my phone meanwhile chalked up an all-time record of 32 missed calls during that 2.5 hours where the my trusty gadget wasn't near my side. Thirty freaking two! As I had a quick scan over the callers: Brother, Niang, Uncle Eric, Home.

Okay, something must have happened to the grandmother.

Or so I thought. Never for a second did I entertain the possibility of me being the 'victim'.

At somewhere around half past nine, an anonymous caller dialed my house number (Okay this is sounding creepy like some episode of 'Missing' or 'Crime Watch' but I'm going to do a factual recount of events so bear with me), obviously the home-alone grandmother picked up the phone. Anonymous caller broke the news that 'I' was on their hands. 'I' had gone into a fight with them (What the fuckety fuck!!!???) and they asked me for money. 'I' said I didn't have any money and they proceeded to beat me up more and captured me. They then proceeded to let 'me' speak to the grandmother, in which 'I' groaned in pain and agony pleading for my grandmother to make them stop the beating. S$5,000 for the safety of my life. Grandmother being poor but still deceptively clear-headed, asked for verification but decided that 'I' sounded to much like me. She haggled with the kidnappers citing her inability to raise that kind of money.

Long story short, 'I' was kidnapped and a ransom was demanded.

Firstly, I don't ever get into fights. Nah.
Then, I'm worth only S$5,000!!!???
Next, shame on whoever it is who masterminded the scam. Obviously you're some kind of friend, or maybe acquaintance. And to betray that trust, especially targetting an old woman, you can probably just fucking die. Last time I checked, many places are still hiring and just fucking man it up and look for a job.

Okay, now that I realised how ridiculous the whole episode is, I wish the kidnapper fucking happy new fucking year. May your ass be busted soon.

- Domon